Preppy Allison would be the one you’d find sporting a new Kate Spade handbag with her headband, twin set and capris. Today, she can save 50% off this cute Charm City Ostrich Maryanne Shoulder bag at Hautelook, but don’t be fooled by its, or her, seeming innocence. Chances are she’s hiding a deep, dark secret inside. Alongside her PTA flyers and kids’ snacks, you just might find a staple gun or something worse. Deal expires: 5/7.
Crazy Helena is my favorite clone by far. Although she started out as an enemy, her newfound devotion and loyalty to her “sestras” is touching. I’m betting even all those soldiers won’t be able to hold her for long. When Sarah springs her loose, hopefully she’ll bring a pair of these New Balance SD400v2 sneakers to speed her along. Something tells me she’ll like the spikes, and Sarah should get a matching pair for herself, since she can save 15% off when she spends $200 or more and uses code 15PERCENTOFF at checkout. Deal ends: 5/30.
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I wish I had Sarah’s strength and fearlessness. I think she gets some of her attitude from the way she dresses, especially in her ever-present leather motorcycle jacket. True fans can channel Sarah’s bada$$ self in this Alec grommet moto jacket, which ships free from BCBG for a limited time. Even if you don’t have to fake your own death or run from gun-wielding thugs in real life, you’ll still be the coolest mom on the block when you wear this. Deal expires: 5/8.
Rachel is the evil clone we all love to hate, so when she got that pencil through the eye, I’m sure we all felt she had it coming to her. But you gotta hand it to the girl, she may have a heart of stone, but she’s also got killer (pun intended) style. If she ever recovers and regains control of DYAD, I’m sure she’ll be decked out as always in her usual sharp suit, like this Rickie Freeman for Teri Jon version, now 30% during the Spree Sale at Neiman Marcus. Sale ends: 5/7.
If there’s one important life lesson I’ve learned from watching Orphan Black, it’s that in a pinch, office supplies make great weapons. From staple guns to pencils, they’ve featured some rather creative new uses for these everyday items. I’ve taken note, and intend never to be caught without a good supply of pencils. I’m stocking up on desk supplies like this faux leather pencil cup to keep them all organized, while I can get one free when I buy two at Office Depot. Because you just never know when you’ll need to fashion a deadly weapon from off the top of your desk. Deal expires: 5/9.
Sadly, I have no claim to any crown jewels, nor does my family have any heirloom pieces to pass on to me. If I want to sparkle, I have to purchase my own bling. Luckily, when I buy one piece at Target, like this gorgeous statement bib necklace, I can get a second for 50% off. I’ll have a collection to rival the royals in no time. Deal expires: 5/9.
Maybe I’ve read too many fairy tales, but I’m pretty sure that princesses wear golden sandals on their dainty little toes. I know I would. Hey, I don’t even have to be a princess to get my hands on some sparkly footwear. At Wet Seal, when I buy these faux leather t-strap sandals, woven with gold accents, I can get a second pair for 50% off. Should I choose knee-high gladiators or a trendy crocheted pair? I can’t decide, but I do know I would gladly abdicate a throne for the right pair of shoes. Excludes clearance; second item must be of equal or lesser value. Deal runs through summer.
Even princesses have to exercise. In fact, the only downside I can see to being a princess is that they probably have to stress over their figures even more than the rest of us, since they are constantly scrutinized and photographed in the press. Just look at Baby Charlotte, already a cover girl at just one day old. She’s perfectly adorable, but those chubby cheeks aren’t as cute on me, so I’m investing in this Fitbit Flex activity tracker to help manage my exercise routine, while I can get one for 20% off and with free shipping at L.L. Bean. Deal ends: 5/9.
I spend most of my days scrubbing on my hands and knees and looking like Cinderella before her transformation. I don’t expect to be rescued by Prince Charming and swept off to a royal ball anytime soon (he’s too busy playing Call of Duty, and he doesn’t dance). However, if I happen to score an unexpected invite to have tea with the Queen, I’ll be ready, because I’ve just bought this perfectly regal summer floral frock by Maggy London for only $138 at Nordstrom. Deal runs through summer.
Back in medieval times, it was easy for the royal family to appear regal and untouchable when they were decked out in furs and heavy brocade gowns. They probably weren’t very comfortable, though. Thankfully, those days are long gone, because I much prefer the casual, approachable looks of today’s princesses who aren’t afraid to spend weekends mucking about the castle grounds in a windbreaker and pair of jeans. That’s a look I can aspire to, so I’m going to get a few pairs of these “royal” blue jeans, while I can take $20 off my order of $75 or more at Alloy with code AVD4P1. Deal expires: 5/15.
You know, they say that flying is actually safer than driving, and after today, I definitely see the truth in that statement. There is practically zero chance that any pilot will find himself having to dodge another plane with a 16-year-old novice at the controls. By next fall, my son should have learned enough to have received his license, and I will have learned enough to fly across the country for vacation, rather than having him drive. Luckily, if I buy this Keurig 2.0 K350 brewing system, I can save 15% off my Southwest Airlines flight. Deal expires: 5/10. Visit BrewedforTakeoff.com for full Fare Saver terms and conditions.
I am a very good driver. That is, I don’t necessarily follow all the traffic laws and speed limits, but I manage to get myself from point A to point B in record time and without crashing or being arrested. As a teacher, however, my skills are lacking. I don’t set a very good example, nor am I able to impart much wisdom, as I am mostly just screaming “Watch out!” and “Slow down!” Time seems to stand still while I’m in the passenger seat dying for practice time to end. At least I can save $50 off this new rose gold watch from Fossil, so I’ll know to the exact second when this torture will be over. Deal ends: 5/10.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s only a matter of time until my teenager is loose on the streets behind the wheel of a vehicle. I’m sure he’ll be an excellent driver by the time he passes his test and is awarded his official license. But just in case, you might want to invest in something like this Yumi lace and neon sweater in day-glo safety orange, so he’ll be sure to see you and avoid running you down. As a bonus, it’s super-cute, and you can take 25% off the price by using code 6PMEQHP2DDGCD at 6pm.com. Deal ends: 5/31.
I tend to get a little woozy when I’m in the passenger seat and my son is driving. With all that closing my eyes in fear, I may sometimes nod off just for a second or two. Or maybe black out. Anyway, I know that I need to be extra alert, just in case I have to warn him about slowing traffic or a chicken running across the road or something, so for upcoming lessons I’m going to be sure and get my caffeine fix beforehand. So it’s a good thing I can save 15% off my favorite Pacific Northwest blend at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf with code GOOD15, because it’s going to take a lot more lessons before I can relax. Deal expires: 5/10.
After today’s harrowing experience, I may just have to put this driving lesson thing on hold for a while. I mean, it’s not like he really needs to drive when he goes off to college. A nice bicycle could do just fine for getting around campus, and will be a whole lot cheaper than a new car. Just to be nice, I’ll get him this new Samsonite laptop backpack, which is 20% off and ships for free from Office Depot with code 1N6PFECSVPH6V2. He can haul all of his supplies on his back while he pedals. Whew! Problem solved. Deal ends: 5/25.
Last year, I packed shorts and tank tops for what I assumed would be a week of fun in the sun, and then spent the entire trip hunkered down in the hotel room shivering. This time I’m going to pack smarter, with some long pants and this chic tie-dyed cardigan from Chico’s. I can take 50% off the highest priced item when I spend $100 or more and use code 34544, so I’m going to get my entire vacation wardrobe here. Deal expires: 5/3.
Speaking of packing, I’m definitely going to need some new luggage for this trip. My old bags were stuffed full of wet clothes after we all got caught out in the rain, and then “somebody” didn’t empty them for more than two weeks after we got home. Can you say mildew? I’m hoping my husband will be smart enough to take advantage of the Mother’s Day luggage sale at Amazon and get me this Samsonite two-piece spinner set while he can save an extra 25% off the sale price with code TOTES4MOM. Deal ends: 5/10.
In my everyday life, I have a murky backyard pool instead of a country club membership, and “gourmet” meals come from the frozen foods section instead of a personal chef. But, when we go on vacation, I like to give the impression that we’re upper-crust society types (which is much easier to do in an upscale hotel than our dumpy house) so I always dress the part. My husband refuses to go along with this fantasy, so I have to pretend I’m not with “that guy” in the ratty old jeans and t-shirts. If he’s going to insist on jeans again this year, at least they’ll be new dark rinsed 501® Original Fit pairs from Levi Strauss and Company, a steal at 30% off and with free shipping on my $100 purchase. Deal expires: 5/4.
Is your favorite part of a vacation the long peaceful drive to your destination, with the wind in your face and nothing but soft music on the car radio and occasional conversation? Then you obviously don’t have kids. Road trips in my family are nothing but an extended battle, punctuated with whines of “He’s touching me!” “How much longer?” and once even “Gunny threw his shoe out the window.” I’ve found that car trips are somewhat more peaceful if you can keep them all distracted, so I’d recommend stockpiling a few small Lego Star Wars sets, like this Snowspeeder with figure set, 10% off at the Lego Store through Star Wars Day. Deal ends: 5/4.
Every time we’re on vacation, somebody in the family insists upon going to the beach. I know this sounds idyllic in theory, but in reality, a day at the beach means freezing cold water, unbearably gusty winds, sand in all your food and every possible crevice, and fried skin that burns for days. In case you can’t tell, the beach is not my favorite place. However, if I’m going to be forced to go, at least I’m going to look good in the free beach dress I scored with code BEACHDRESS when I spent more than $65 at Victoria’s Secret. Deal expires: 5/1.
The weather out here has been full of surprises the past couple of weeks. Gloomy, gray and chilly one day, scorching hot sunshine the next. Waking up to discover a complete 180 weather-wise is not the kind of surprise I like. Finding out I can save 35% off this floral tankini at Calvin Klein with code SURPRISE is the best kind, though. The weather is sure to settle into a summer of perfect beach days soon, and this new suit will make them even better. Deal expires: 5/3.
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” So says Juliet in Shakespeare’s most famous play. All I know is that if Juliet had been able to score this sweet Ted Baker Domina Distinguish Rose handbag for 20% off at Amazon with code BAGS20OFF, she would have been way too happy to off herself. I mean, who needs anything else when you’ve got a great bag, right? Deal ends: 5/10.
Jeans are something no girl can ever have enough of. I must have 20 pairs in my closet, but they all serve my different fashion personalities. I never know from one day to the next if I’ll be in the mood for a ripped, studded, paint-splattered, tie-dyed or classic dark denim pair. Just in case I’m feeling girly and romantic (it does happen on occasion), it’s lucky I found these Mystic Floral print jeans by 7 for All Mankind on sale for only $79.99 at 6pm.co. Deal expires: 5/1.
What could be easier than wearing a dress? Just throw one on and go. A dress will keep you cool on hot days, can be layered for cooler weather, and is great for rainy days too, since you don’t have to worry about getting the hem soaked in a puddle. Right now you can save up to 80% off dresses at Bluefly, including this fuschia poppy print strapless peplum dress from Vera Wang Lavender Label. Deal ends: 4/30 (today).
Now that our wardrobes and our gardens are busting out in blooms, we should probably be able to identify all the different varieties popping up on and around us. The next time you go traipsing through the great outdoors, carry this Pocket Guide to Wildflowers. Not only will it fit easily in your bag, but you can also save 15% off the price at Barnes & Noble with code XWA617Q8Y4QP5. Be sure and let me know if you discover any species bearing hot dogs. My son will be thrilled. Deal ends: 5/3.