I saw a guy yesterday who had so much body jewelry, I swear he jangled as he walked. Piercings, chains, nose rings, even those big hoop thingies that stretch out your ears - he had it all. All I could think when I saw him was - ouch! And how on earth does he ever get through airport security? I don’t go in for all that, but if you do, take advantage of the body jewelry on clearance at Fresh Trends Body Jewelry. And if I ever manage to get that flat stomach, I just might celebrate with something like this dangle belly button ring, now up to 90% off.
Now bracelets, necklaces and rings - jewelry that doesn’t require putting any holes in your body - these are much more my style. Especially when they come in diamonds and two-tone gold, like this gorgeous bridal set from Zales, which is 60% off and ships for free. When you come bearing jewels and bargains, that would be enough to make me accept a proposal - even one from Pinhead.
What can a girl never have enough of (besides diamonds and shoes, I mean)? Great-fitting tees. These everyday Kenzie t-shirts have the perfect v-neck, are a nice long length and feel super-soft. They come in nine colors and are 50% off during the Summer Sale at Columbia Sportswear. Sold! Sale ends: 8/11.
I wish I was one of those girls who got invited to sit front row at Fashion Week and could order next season’s entire collection, straight off the runway. Unfortunately, the only invites I get are to Tupperware parties, and if I tried to place an order for haute couture, me and my measly credit card limit would be laughed right out of the showroom. So what does a girl do when her fashion habit far surpasses her spending limit? We wait for sales. These incredible pink satin Charlotte Olympia pumps are now 50% off at Forzieri. I can swing that. I mean, who needs to eat this month, anyway?
Of course, it’s not enough to have the very latest iPhone 6. In order to stand out from the crowd and prove yourself to be on the cutting-edge of tech trends, you have to have a unique and decorative case for your phone, too. The Lifebox Glow Hybrid iPhone 6 cases come in ten styles, from glow-in-the-dark sand-injected versions to embedded natural flowers, and they’re 77% off at Yugster. Because a naked iPhone is just so gauche. Deal expires: 7/31 (today).
As much as I love shopping, I loathe shopping for school clothes. It’s a never-ending battle over styles and brands, and as for getting anyone to try something on - forget it. The boys never want to go with me, but then they won’t wear what I pick out on my own. And if I do find something we can all agree on, they outgrow it in a few months and then I have to start all over again. At least I know I can’t go wrong with these Levi’s Skate 504 straight five-pocket jeans, and at 60% off at CCS, they’re a bargain, too.
I was in Costco the other day and they were rolling out racks full of Halloween costumes. It’s still July! I can’t stand when stores start pushing their holiday décor months before the season even begins. However, I am now taking the crown of hypocrite of the month, because when I saw this adorable vintage-look Halloween parade of characters - monsters & witches & ghosts (oh my!) - at Through the Country Door, I had to snap it up, especially since it’s on sale for 80% off. I guess it’s never too early to start dreaming of apple cider, full moons and hayrides - and all that candy!
I know I complain a lot about my husband. In my opinion, he spends way too much time playing computer games, napping, watching dumb TV shows and reading in the shower (don’t ask me how he manages that). Sometimes I just want to scream at him to get out of the house already, for any reason, just for a little while. Just go. It’s not that I’m mean (well, maybe) but for someone who works from home, having somebody else always around and underfoot is sooo annoying. Maybe if I get him this AXO Aria Mesh WP jacket, now 44% off at Motorcycle Superstore, he’ll jump on that Harley that’s been gathering dust out in the garage for years and finally get some use out of it.
I can already predict what will happen if I ever do get my hubby to hit the road for a nice long ride on his hog. He’ll come home with a zillion new aches and pains, whining and begging to have his back and legs massaged. Still, for a few hours of peace and quiet and blissful solitude, it might be worth it. And at least I can save 50% off on a gallon of Soothing Touch massage cream at Massage Warehouse.
I just realized that I’ve shopped an entire day of deals without buying anything (directly) for myself. That just can’t be. After all that hard bargain-hunting, I deserve a little treat, too, right? This sheer print shawl will dress up any outfit, and since it’s 90% off at The Clymb (only $5!) I can hardly be accused of indulging myself.
I love shopping simply for shopping’s sake. I’m never as content as when I’m wandering around a mall, discount store or flea market, just browsing; spending isn’t even necessary. I felt pretty sure I had perfected the shopping experience. I know where to find the best sale racks, restrooms and coupons, and I was pretty sure there wasn’t much room for improvement on my system. But then I saw this wireless stereo headset for 77% off at Yugster. For only $30 (and free shipping included) I can get this nifty device which will allow me to listen to my favorite tunes, take hands-free calls and even have text messages read aloud to me while I shop. OMG. I have now reached shopping nirvana. Moment of silence, please, in respect of this momentous occasion. Deal expires 7/29 (today).
I don’t need any more shoes. Seriously, there are enough pairs in my closet to outfit my feet for a lifetime, whatever the occasion may call for. So I have totally sworn off shoe-shopping. I don’t even open those websites anymore. Really. But then apparently, while I was distracted, my toes were doing some browsing of their own and came across a pair they were gagging to wear. Nope, I said. Not even going to look. But they’re snake-print, said the toes. You already have snake-print boots, I retorted. But these are sandals, they pleaded. You have plenty of sandals, I insisted. But they’re blue, to match our summer pedicure, they begged. Nice try. They’re 70% off at Bare Necessities, sing-songed the toes. Sigh. Those toes know my weakness. I can’t resist a bargain. Or singing toes. Deal ends: 8/6.
With the ubiquitous cell phone always within reach, nobody really needs a watch as a timepiece anymore. However, watches are more than just functional; they are decorative fashion accessories, and the right watch can definitely take your look up a notch or two. This is especially true when your watch is a fabulous designer brand, like this Gucci stainless steel chain-link watch, now 40% off at The Watchery.
It’s hard to believe I’m old enough to be the mom of someone who just got his driver’s license and is graduating high school this year. It feels like just yesterday that I was doing those things. I guess I have to accept that it’s time to pass the torch to a new generation, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to dye my hair blue, don a polyester pantsuit and head down to the bingo hall. Heck no, I’ll still be rocking these J Brand leather pants, which I got for 40% off at The RealReal, and rocking out at Burning Man next month. Nobody’s putting Mama in the corner. Not yet. Sale ends: 7/30.
I just got done saying how content I am to be middle-aged and done with the baby stuff, but then I saw this Little Marc Jacobs swimsuit at Alex and Alexa - and oh my gosh, I would give anything to be two again, just so I could wear this. Cutest thing ever. Is it too late for me to have another child? Because I absolutely MUST have a little girl to put this on, because I don’t really think any of my boys are going to go for it. This and more adorable designer children’s styles are up to 60% off right now, so shop away. I gotta go unfreeze my eggs.
I could never work on Wall Street, and not just because I suck at math (although I do). But even if I was a whiz with numbers, I would never fit in with that business-attire culture of wearing pencil skirts, tailored suits and heels every day. I am never comfortable in a suit jacket; they make me feel like I’m in a straight jacket. That’s why I am happy being a freelancer who gets to work in her jammies. And whenever I do have to leave home, it’s always in something equally comfy, like this sun-bleached slub tank, now 50% off during the summer sale at J. Jill.
There are watches these days that can send text messages, tell you the weather and keep track of your fitness stats. When they start doing the dishes and laundry for you, then maybe I’ll be interested. But for now, I just need a watch that can tell the time and look good on my wrist, and without costing as much as a new car. This Lancaster Italy gold-tone and black leather watch is elegant and inexpensive, since this and other designer brands are up to 93% off at eWatches.
I must be behind the times, because I have only just recently learned about this trend of giving women “push presents” when they give birth. Are you kidding me? All I took home after all four of my pregnancies was a screaming baby and tons of diapers. My husband was obviously hoping to sneak by without my finding out about this tradition, but now he owes me big time - times four! He just may be able to make it up to me and get himself out of the doghouse with something like these black diamond and white gold hoop earrings, and lucky for him, they’re now 50% off at Kay Jewelers.
Like me, my husband is a pretty casual guy. You’ll never catch him in a suit and tie, unless he’s going on a job interview or meeting with investment bankers. Most days, he’s enjoying the laidback California lifestyle too, chilling in shorts and something like this relaxed plaid short-sleeved shirt, now 35% off at Carhartt.
My son is getting his driver’s license tomorrow (consider yourself warned). Assuming he passes his drive test, he will officially, legally be allowed to take the car out on his own from now on. I foresee an empty driveway and a lot of walking ahead in my future, which is why I’m grabbing these eyelet slip-on sneakers while they’re an extra 50% off the already marked-down price at Talbots. It may be a long, long time before I’m back in the driver’s seat.
Hmm, summer’s almost over and I still haven’t got my bikini body into optimum shape, so yeah, I’m running a bit behind schedule. I tried teaming up with my best friend to jog for an hour each evening (and by jog, I mean walk leisurely while we gossip about work and neighbors). But then it got so hot that we’re too drained by the end of the day to move, so I usually just spend my evenings floating around in the pool eating Twizzlers. Once the weather cools back down, though, I’m definitely back on track with my workout routine, and to prove it, I’m buying these SmartWool PhD running shorts while they’re marked 60% off at Backcountry Gear.
I adore hosting outdoor parties during the summertime. I love mixing up glass jars of drinks with fruit floating in them, roasting marshmallows in the fire pit and most of all, making the backyard look festive by hanging strings of paper lanterns all over the patio. These look great and are such an easy and inexpensive way to liven up your outdoor space, and right now you can take 20% off all premium paper lanterns, like this cool turquoise blue beehive, at Luna Bazaar. Deal expires: 7/27 (today).
Sandals are one of the best things about summer, because they’re cute, keep your toes cool, and are usually easy to slip on and off without fussing with a lot of ties and buckles and stuff. Of course, if you’re someone who enjoys traveling and sightseeing during your summer break, you also want sandals that are well-made and comfortable for walking in. You’re in luck, because the Walking Company has these great Umberto Raffini Signature Nance sandals, and many more styles, on clearance for up to 73% off. Stock up now; your feet will thank you.
I don’t have much of a green thumb, but I’ve occasionally thought it would be nice to have a backyard garden so I could have fresh veggies on hand for the picking. It was just a passing fancy though, until I saw these adorable veggie-shaped garden stakes at Crate and Barrel. Now that I know I can accessorize my garden, I am obsessed with the idea of having one, so I’ll be picking up a bunch of these cute metal stakes shaped like carrots, peppers, tomatoes and more while they’re 70% off during Crate & Barrel’s Outlet Sale. Now I just have to find someone to do the actual planting, weeding and watering.
You know what they say, it’s summertime and the living is easy. I take that to mean that I don’t actually have to wear clothes. Nope, I just spend my time lying around the house in my bikini instead of taking the time to get dressed up every day. And if something should arise where I actually have to leave the comfort of my lounge chair - say if I need to pay the pizza delivery person or if I run out of Twizzlers and have to make a trip to the store - it’s so simple to just throw this breezy floral maxi dress, which I got on sale for 30% off at Miss Selfridge, on over my swimsuit when I have to make a public appearance, and then slip it back off again when I head back to the pool. Because that’s what summer is all about.