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Embarrassing confession: my secret wish is to become a Real Housewife of Wherever. I could totally bring the drama, but unfortunately, neither my income, my dress size nor my zip code fit the Stepford mold that seems to be a prerequisite for casting. I mean, there was that one season on RHOC when Lynne's family went broke and got evicted, but then they conveniently disappeared from the series. Still, if they ever come out with a Real Housewives of that other Valley Beyond The Valley, I'm on board. Just watch as I dramatically present today's fabulicious deals as my audition footage.

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