Movember is a movement dedicated to raising awareness for prostate cancer, testicular cancer, poor mental health and physical inactivity through the cunning use of mustaches. Mustaches themselves have largely gone the way of mullets and velour tracksuits, but now we have the plausible deniability of sporting those wiry little monsters because we're doing it for a cause. "I'm wearing this because of prostates," you can yell through your bristly lipwarmer whenever somebody asks us why you look like the Brawny Man's sad cousin. (Click through for image sources.)
Not only have you let the world know how much you like Batman, you're two dashes of eye makeup away from being ready for The Gathering of the Juggalos.
Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR HEAD AND DON'T YOU NEED A PERMIT FOR THIS
You look like Dr. Robotnik and a sea mine had unholy demon congress while on safari. Never change, you beautiful starfruit.
What ties this saucy little mustache together is the hint of a rat-tail at the back of the head. Your head is a Swiss army knife, ready for absolutely anything.
Whenever we make First Contact with visitors from beyond the stars, this man needs to be the first human being they see. They need to know that we fear nothing.
If Yosemite Sam were worked over by an evil band of Las Vegas hairdressers, this beautiful specimen would be the end result.
I can only respond to the mystery of what waits on the other side of this man's head with a gif:
Sheriff Chops doesn't screw around -- he's about his business, he knows the score around town, he's got his eye on those rascals hanging out down by the general store. Woe betide them if they go messing with his antique blow-dryers.
Your face is like Willy Wonka's factory. I trust your warm eyes.
I...like I can't even make fun of this. You committed to this. You wanted this to happen. I support you and all of your works, Man Who Doesn't Understand What Cats Look Like.
If you want to become the bizarre hirsute change you wish to see in the world, you're going to need the right tools. Head on over to RoyalShave and get amazing discounts on all the supplies you'll need to join in on Movember and impress/terrify the neighborhood children.