Vacation is best spent on the beach, and not the one at the local lake with all of the out-of-control rednecks. Hawaii, Tahiti -- those are the places that beckon worn-out suburbanites with all of their magical sand and blue water. Just don't forget about the volcanoes. Yes, remember that almost all of these "enchanting" islands have the capability of wiping out millions. So while the thought of fruity, intoxicating beverages and lush tropical jungles with perfect weather may sound idyllic, even this so-called paradise can end up being tragic. Order up some bamboo furniture and statues of Polynesian gods and throw a luau. Just make sure to put the kids science fair project -- the volcano that erupts Alka Seltzer right smack in the middle of the festivities. The suburbs aren't as bad as we thought, huh?