In my college days I volunteered as a DJ for the campus student-run radio station: 90.5 WHRW, Binghamton, NY. I remember we had to pass a test to get officially licensed, and spent a semester as an apprentice with a licensed DJ. I passed my test the first time. So when it was time for me to get my own time slot, I was so psyched I couldn’t care what time it was. Until, of course I found out I had the 4 a.m. to 7 a.m. slot on Wednesday mornings. Ugh.

My roommate was into it too, so he was my apprentice. And getting him up that early to go sit in a radio booth and talk to most likely 3 listeners at that hour was not easy. It was, however, a total blast when one time I had my entire suite (6 of us) in the station the day or so before Thanksgiving. Most of the campus had gone home early already for the short holiday break. I was sticking around an extra day for some reason, so I had them all come into the studio. I put them in one of the rooms with a table and mic, and I went back to the control panel. And for 3 hours that Wednesday morning me, Dave, Keith, Heath, Matt and Camillo just basically talked and joked. We even had a few townies actually call in to chat with us. Someone out there must have a tape of it even (Keith?). Anyways while we did have CD players rather than records, I gather these days the whole things run off of a computer with mp3s. Sigh. Soon DJs will be nothing more than a line of javascript telling the mp3 player what order to play the songs in and when to slap in commercial breaks…

But for you satellite radio listeners, there’s a great one-day sale at Sirius today:

15% off your online order at Sirius
Use coupon code SIRIUS15.
Valid through: July 31, 2007

Worst bee sting I ever got? That’s easy. Flash back to the ’80s. Nice hot summer day. I was at the town pool with my mom and sister, probably hanging out with my neighborhood friend Eddie. There’s a huge grassy hill that leads up to fence at one side of the whole park. I remember running around it with him. All of a sudden I stepped on one of those real tiny white flowers and shrieked in pain. I looked down at my right foot and there stuck right in between my big toe and the next toe (what do you call that, your pointer toe?) was a huge bee! Ouch was an understatement.

I swatted at that sucker and his body fell off but the stinger stayed in and hurt with every step. Somehow I hobbled back to my mom, thanks to Ed’s support (physical support I mean, not like he cheered me on…). They took me to the First Aid counter, removed the stinger, slapped some ice on it, bacetracin and a band-aid. Case closed, right? Wrong. My right foot blew up something awful and was insanely itchy, painful and throbbing for days afterwards. The worst of it all, though, was that the very next day after it happened, we all went on vacation. To Florida. From New York. And we drove. Yeah, I spent 2 or 3 days in the back seat of our car with my foot up and iced as we passed rest stop after rest stop. I’m sure I had a blast the rest of the trip and we eventually did make it to DisneyWorld and all, but man will I never forget that sting.

And speaking of bugs, here’s a great coupon that won’t make your foot swell up. Promise.

15% off your online order at Fashion Bug
Use the above link to get the coupon code and view terms of the offer.
Valid through: October 23, 2007 11:59pm PT

Even if you can’t jump (like me and Woody Harrelson), you can appreciate “the shoes.” I’ve always like Nike, though I never quote understood what their swoosh logo is all about. Now Puma, that’s a name I can understand. A big scary cat that can run way faster than me. But a swoosh? I guess that’s the sound I’m supposed to hear when I zip past you on the track. Anyways, these days you can buy shoes (or “kicks” as the kids on the street say these days… uh, I think. Don’t people call sneakers, well, sneakers anymore?) for just about any activity: basketball, baseball, running, cross-training, backgammon, er, you get the picture. Whatever you need, now’s a good time to stock up, since Nike’s got a pretty good coupon going:

20% off online orders over $125 at Nike.com
Use promotional code 2PCTRM during checkout. Code is CASE SENSITIVE.
Valid through: September 3, 2007 11:59pm PT
Not valid on selected merchandise including gift cards, launch product, NikeiD, Members Only Store product, Nike+ iPod Sport Kit, and Apple products.

Oops. Sorry. My mistake. Apparently Footlocker sells neither feet nor lockers. But they do have a decent selection of athletic footwear, apparel and equipment. And speaking of feet, I have pretty average feet. Honestly, I don’t even remember what size I wear. I buy sneakers/shoes so infrequently, I never remember. I think it’s around an 8 1/2 but it goes up or down a size depending on the brand. It’s a real pain when I go bowling, especially if I don’t remember to bring my bowling shoes with me. Um, did I just say that out loud? Sigh. Okay. I admit it. I was on the high school bowling team. We played once a week at the bowling alley, I got to hang with my friends and they had the absolute best pizza around, let me tell you. Unfortunately right after I graduated, they tore the whole place down to put up one of the largest malls in the country. Not really a fair trade if you ask me. The pizza in the mall really stinks.

But what doesn’t stink is saving money! (I am SO the master of transitions, aren’t I?) So going back to Footlocker for all 3 of you who’ve stayed with me so far… here’s the payoff coupon:

30% off any size online order at FootLocker.com
Use source code FF77CP37 during checkout.
Valid through: July 28, 2007 11:59pm CT
Not valid on gift cards and team orders. Some items are excluded and will say “This item is currently excluded from any promotional discounts” under the product description. Quebec residents excluded from online purchases. Not valid on prior purchases or open orders. Cannot be combined with associate benefits or VIP Platinum Reward Cards. Cannot be combined with any other offers.

Okay, so maybe it’s BloomERS, not BloomIES that refers to big honkin’ undergarments. So sue me. Wait, don’t. Please don’t. I really don’t have the time, nor the funds for that… I also can’t think of 1 good tie-in anecdote to Bloomingdales. Nope, not a one. So, instead I’ll tell you my all-time favorite joke. Ready?

Here goes… So, a man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Get it? Get it? A man walks INTO a bar? Haw! I just love it. But what makes that joke insanely funny to me, is that when I first heard it years ago, I was in school (probably middle school)… and some girl was telling it to her friends. They all laughed except for this one, let’s call her somewhat ditzy, friend. She just didn’t get it. No matter how hard they tried explainin’ it, she just couldn’t get it. Okay, no biggie. Except a week or 2 later, out of the blue, she goes, “OH! He walked INTO the bar? I get it now!” Heh. That just gets me every time.

And speaking of getting… get your browser on over to Bloomingdales, ’cause there’s a gigantamungous sale going on right now!

Extra 40% off Sale at Bloomingdales.com
Valid online only. Use coupon code JULY30 at checkout.
Valid through: July 30, 2007
Not valid in conjunction with any other offer. Delivery charges and applicable sales taxes are additional. No adjustments to prior purchases. Offer excludes Electronic Gift Cards Beauty, Gifts, and Home. Offer not valid on bloomingdales.weddingchannel.com.

Remember the show “Win, Lose or Draw”? I think Bettie White used to host it even. That was right around the time Pictionary was THE game everyone, no matter their age, was playing. I was soooo bad at that game. Decent at guessing, but I’m such a terrible artist, nobody ever could guess what the heck I was drawing. Heh. I probably should have taken remedial art lessons just so I could play Pictionary. And speaking of art (No, not Art Carney, one of the funniest actors ever!), here’s a great coupon for a great art supply shop:

10% off online orders at Dick Blick
Use source code CCAV in the Source/Promotional Code box during checkout. Valid through: July 26, 2007 11:59pm CT
Cannot be combined with any other promotion. Not valid on gift certificate purchases or factory-direct items (noted as FOB).

Food rules. I’m pretty open to trying just about anything and everything. Though if it has olives on it, forget about it. Don’t know why, but I’ve always hated olives. Doesn’t matter if they’re green or black. They’re all nasty. I used to hate mushrooms as a kid too and now I love them. So every year or so I try an olive again hoping that it won’t taste like I just licked a dirty carpet, but it’s always a let down. Too bad, because my wife loves olives.

While we’re talking about food, I’m a huge fan of sushi. Again, just about any kind except mackerel (just tastes too fishy) and some yellow tin. But about 8 years ago or so when I was a young pup fairly fresh out of college and working at a semi 9 to 6 job with a lot of young guys, we got to talking about sushi. And boasting. And before we knew it, we were all involved in a “Sushi Eat Off” contest! Four of us entered, each with a “spotter.” We went to one of those Japanese buffet places where they make the sushi right in front of you and put it out. So you don’t really have to wait long. The rules were simple. You could whatever you wanted (including Miso soup, salad, dumplings or any of the other hot food), but only sushi rolls and sushi pieces counted. Your spotter would count actual pieces eaten and help motivate you. And there was a 1 hour time limit put on the event.

I’m proud to say that I ate a whopping 56 pieces of sushi that fateful night. But sadly… I came in third! Guy ahead of me ended at 60. And I might’ve been able to catch up to him eventually, but the winner clocked in at 65 and would have kept going all night. It was also his first time ever eating sushi. “I just don’t lose eating contests,” was his game plan. Sigh.

Anyways, now that you’ve chewed on that little tale, here’s an unbelievably insane coupon for Restaurant.com, a site that lets you purchase dining certificates at a discount. Fairly cheap stuff to begin with, but with these coupons, you’re nuts not to take advantage, especially if you eat out at the valid restaurants regularly.

Extra 70% off Dining Certificates at Restaurant.com
Use discount code PRESENT. Valid through: July 31, 2007
This discount is in addition to the everyday discounts at Restaurants.com. So if you buy a $25 Certificate for $10 and use a 70% off coupon, you pay only $3!

I like tea. Iced in the summer, hot as the sun during winter. And while I’ve tried all sorts of different teas, I’ve come to realize that I really don’t like any berry-types of teas. I can’t explain why, I just find them very fake tasting. But give me an Earl Grey, English Breakfast or Peppermint tea and I’m a happy camper. Even that tea they give you in Chinese restaurants is pretty darn good. I used to drink it as a kid, although I remember adding about 6 or 7 packets of sugar per cup. Heh.

Anyways, I’ve always known tea had some good anti-oxidant health properties. Now I’m hearing all sorts of tea-based diets. Even Oprah went on about the value of green tea. So if Oprah said it, and you read about it on the Internet, then it MUST be true, right? Well, I don’t have a coupon offer, but I do have a Free offer for Power Tea, a weight-loss formula.

Get a Free 30-Day Trial of Power Tea
Pay just shipping and handling for a 30-day supply of Power Tea.

Cookies rule. Even stale ones. Come on, like you wouldn’t stuff your face with stale Chips Ahoy or Oreos if they were sitting there in front of you just staring you in the face. But yeah fresh-baked cookies right out of the oven are the closest any of us will probably ever come to nirvana (the state of mind, not the band). And if you’re like me and can’t bake anything without an EZ Bake Oven, then you should either call your mom up right now and tell her how much you miss her and her cookies… or else go order some online from a trusted cookie baker like Davids Cookies:

15% off online orders over $29.99 at Davids Cookies
Use coupon code UC1529A.
Valid through: September 1, 2007

Cookie Bonus: If you have young kids, check out Mr. Cookie Baker by the very talented Monica Wellington. This delightful book with really cute pictures is one of my 4-year-old’s favorites. We take it out of the library all the time. (Yeah, I really should suck it up and just buy the damn thing already shouldn’t I?) It even includes 4 recipes in the back to make your own cookies. We made the chocolate chip ones and they really were a little different and super tasty.

Wow, 2 sports-related coupons in a row? It must be the height of summer! Well since I already told you guys about breaking my dad’s nose in my early years of little league, I can flash forward to my final year in little league…

I normally played center field (I was fast, so I did a good job of helping cover right and left field too) on our team, the Twins. Nice bright orange and black uniforms. Yeah, it looked great on me and my super pale white skin. Anyways, it was my last year and I was a real solid player, reliable on defense and real good at the plate. I wasn’t a home run hitter by any means, but I could take my pitches well, earn walks when needed, or punch in singles or doubles quite regularly. We had an awesome season and made it to the playoffs, won the first round and then went to the Championship game. Woo. Honestly, I don’t even remember who we played against.

All I recall of that final game of the 3-game series is that our 2nd basemen was hurt or something, so the coach put me in at 2nd base. Oy. Yeah, I was real nervous, seeing as how playing the infield is realll different than the outfield. And it wasn’t like there was any pressure or anything. But somehow I did okay and we were in the lead barely, going into the 9th inning. With 2 outs and a 1 run lead, we were just 3 strikes away from winning it all… The first pitch came and the batter connected. Klink. It was a bit of a dinker, slow moving (at least in my mind) ground ball.. right. at. me. There’s very few times in my life where everything did seem to go in slow motion, but that was one of them. Everything around me just froze and I saw the ball rolling very slowly towards me. I casually scooped it up and underhanded it lightly to our first basemen and… the player was out. We won. Sorry, you were expecting some crazy horrible sad wacky ending weren’t you? Heh. Nope, this one was a good one. My very last game in my very last year of playing little league, and I made the final play to win the championship. That’s a good memory.

So start making some good memories of your own (cue cheesy Hallmark commerical music)… Pick up the latest athletic apparel or footwear (i.e. sneakers) at Eastbay with this really great coupon:

30% off your online order at Eastbay.com
Use source code LKS17A3C in the box during checkout.
Valid through: July 27, 2007
Items excluded from this coupon will say “This item is currently excluded from any promotional discounts.” Not valid on gift cards or team orders. Does not apply to prior purchases or open orders and cannot be combined with any other coupons.