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Look At These Costumed Dogs Immediately

Look At These Costumed Dogs Immediately
Angela Germano

Putting animals in costumes is one of the greatest benefits of being human, and, though there are detractors, it must be properly treasured, as it is a gift. And dogs, being born with the temperament of I LOVE LIFE AND IT LOVES ME, are the most natural choice to join in this gift of ours.

The head on this costume looks like the face of an angry god, getting ready to punish any and all who get in this beautiful dog's way. This dog costume might be my soulmate.

I know that the one thing I look for in all costumes is being smashed by a whale under the guise of theoretically maybe looking like one? It doesn't matter what the costume is, it has to be whale-smashed, even if that does limit my (and my pet's) choices significantly.

I don't know if this is a costume as much as a “my owner has stuff and sometimes it goes on me”, but I'm a sucker for dogs in people-stuff, so I'm counting it as an “olde time city gentleman” dog costume, which is pretty impressive considering the fact that no gentleman would ever be seen in anything less than perfect dress, and dogs are notoriously messy.

There's so much to love about this, it's hard to even start. The sequins on the lettuce perfectly matching the horror in the dog's eyes, the texture of the taco shell is a perfect reflection of the armor the Halloween God wears -- there's something for everyone in this!

The only thing you can do with an object of childhood terror is to steal its identity and force it on your dogs. It especially helps if you can train your dog to sing, especially really creepy songs. You could even teach it all of "Bark At The Moon" and it'd still be terrifying.

I don't know who the true champion is here: the dog for looking so majestic as a canine diver, or the owner, who somehow got a dog-wetsuit and then put it on their dog without maiming them. Either way, I would trust this dog in any potential aquatic emergency I had.

Did you ever think that you could look upon the face of a god? Because now you have, just by looking at this majestic dog-walrus. It's the animal combination that beats any mythological beast you could come up with, because the combination of the squishiness of a walrus and the lovehugs of a dog? It's the most perfect combination of sweet, damp love.

I don't know what's best about this picture: the fact that the chicken looks fresh off of a Chuck E. Cheese stage from the 90s, the calming, fall-themed backdrop, or the fact that it looks like the dog is shouting his last goodbyes and final wishes while being swallowed down the gaping maw of Chickenzilla.

The best way to remind your dog of your dominance over them is to not only make them wear a costume, but a costume that reminds them of a meal that, at any given time, they could be. It's the costume version of yelling SMOTHER IN ONE OF YOUR POTENTIAL FUTURES, TINY BEAST, OR SWEAR YOUR ALLEGIENCE TO ME AND ME ALONE. (please don't eat your pets or shout at them, it makes them very sad)

I have never seen a cuter puppy in my entire life. I will swear on that in court, and that this is literally the cutest puppy in the entire world, and it manages that without even showing its perfect puppy belly (all puppies have perfect bellies, it's actually a universal law). Look at how sleepy he is! Look how tiny his shirt is! Puppy!!

I couldn't tell if this was a monkey or a dog at first, but it's all cleared up and now I love it so much. I might start a petition to get the Air Bud franchise entirely rebooted and remade starring this costumed dog. Sorry old Air Bud, but where's your Letterman jacket (does he have one? I honestly don't know)?

I think the reason that dogs in costumes are so amusing is because dogs alternate between OMG I LOVE YOU and sullen teenager, with nothing in between. So, when you put a hot dog costume on a teenager pouting over having to go see their grandmother, it stops being annoying and becomes absolute perfection! I don't know if that's good parenting advice or not, but you should probably keep a hot dog costume around for any rogue teenagers. Head over to PetSmart for amazing discounts on the pet supplies that will make your dog forgive you for forcing their weird little bodies into unnatural configurations and food costumes.