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A Brief Glossary for The Lost Boys

A Brief Glossary for The Lost Boys
Angela Germano

Movies make up words, or reinterpret them, to create a new universe all of the time. Sometimes the fake word stays around (we're all looking at you, BSG), or becomes so associated with the movie that they'll never be separated (will bogus ever be anything else but a journey with Death?) But when a universe is created with subtle, almost secret slang, it's hard to tell what everything means without a movie-specific glossary.

Man


A person with a mullet that is both considered tough and your friend, for no apparent reason, also a term used by a man to prove that they are a man and you are not.

Example: "Man, you are so important to me, man, you're like the blood in my veins, man." or “Listen man, you don't know anything man, Last Action Hero is a cinematic masterpiece, man.”

Room of Skulls

Standard item in every house in Santa Carla, where nobody (but probably only important guests) can go (possibly an incredibly creepy bathroom? NOBODY KNOWS BECAUSE WE CAN'T GO IN TO CHECK.)

Example: "Hey kids, I'm going to go relax in my room of skulls for awhile, you go play outside and don't bother me until I come out."

TV Guide

TV replacement for your room of skulls, required to have all stickers attached

Example: "Okay, which one of you ordered the late-night Cinemax on my TV Guide? I know it was one of you, and nobody's leaving this house until I find out who."

Video Stores

The one place vampires aren't allowed.

Example: "The VHSes! They burn! More than the traditional holy water!"

Comic Books

Badge of nerds and vigilantes, also instruction manuals on how to not die.

Example: "Dudes, the 'do not die' sticker on this book is friggin PRISTINE."

“Just You”

I am going to punch your face now very hard, and you should not resist because you deserve it.

example: “Just you, stuffed shark I won at the fair that looks better close up! Just you!”

Mysterious Bottled Drinks Offered by Mean Strangers

Boone's Farm, strawberry edition, may contain LSD.

Example: “Drink this and you'll be the rockingest 15 year old in the whole class, Thomas!”

“You are one of us!”

You could punch that train in the face if you wanted to.

Example: “You're one of us! We are all the Boxcar Punching Children!”

“You watching too much Dynasty?”

The most rhinestoned combination insult against the sayer and the receiver.

Example: “Why did you need to go out at 3 AM, my little jerk Chachi? You watching too much Dynasty in your old age?”

“We don't ride with vampires.”

Reverse shotgun for anti-vampire LARPers

Example: “Geezy, Spookytellyna, you know that we don't ride with vampires, we're dark faeries [get motion sickness].”

It's very easy to get confused and caught up in things while you watch The Lost Boys, namely Kiefer Sutherland, the perfect soundtrack, and Kiefer Sutherland's hair, so having a glossary on hand for those moments when you can't find yourself again is one of the most helpful things you can do, short of actually being there (don't be there, it's dangerous there). If, like any normal teenage boy who is also Corey Haim, you need a poster of Sexy Rob Lowe for your bedroom, head over to Movie Poster Shop on Ultimate Coupons for deals on confusing but enticing wall-hangings.