Five Ways to Help a New Mom

The day after I gave birth to my son, I looked at his tiny, helpless little form swaddled in blankets… and I freaked out a little. This teeny tiny guy was my responsibility now! I somehow forgot that I had a husband, parents, in-laws, and a whole army of friends waiting to help me out, and I felt overwhelmed and alone. Luckily, when I got home, I remembered that other people existed. The stress lifted as I accepted help from others and got used to my new life with a baby. You can see me at right, relaxing with my new son while my husband is off in the other room vacuuming.

If you have a friend or relative who is a new mom, you might be wondering how you can best support her. Some moms don’t want to accept help, because they feel like they’re inconveniencing you. Assure her you’re happy to help, and that she doesn’t need to do it alone. It truly does take a village to raise a child. Here are some ways you can ease the burden for any new mom.

Food

My very favorite thing people did for me when I had my son was to bring me food. I especially appreciated food that I could freeze and reheat later. One friend made me a huge tray of macaroni and cheese. I stuck it in the freezer and used it to feed some guests that came over to meet my son when he was a couple of weeks old. It was absolutely amazing to be able to entertain people at my house, and all I had to do was turn on the oven and enlist my husband to throw together a bagged salad. You can find the recipe for my friend’s mac n’ cheese here at her blog. Other good options that are freezable and comforting are chili, soups, rice dishes, and lasagna. If you’re not much of a cook, try sites like Artiko Chef, where you can have gourmet frozen meals sent to the new mom’s house. Artiko Chef has great coupons, including a code for a free dessert and appetizer.

Resources

New moms can feel very isolated, because it’s tough to leave the house with a new baby, and even if you do, your style is seriously cramped. Feedings every two hours and diaper changes even more often than that make it seriously difficult to have a meal at a restaurant or enjoy time with friends. Moms also feel isolated because their lives have changed so much. Friends without children and family members who work all day have a hard time understanding the ups and downs of life with a new baby. The solution? Help your friend find other new moms to connect with. When I had my baby, my birth doula introduced me to a mom who lived just a few blocks away and had a baby the same age as my son. Some friends got together and got me a six month membership to Gymboree, which is tons of fun and has great deals and coupons to help you save money on memberships and clothing. Help her find some local mommy groups through Meetup.com, and when she’s ready for exercise, there are fitness classes like Baby Boot Camp. Let her know about sites like The New Parents Guide and TheBump.com, where parents can go to share tips and find out about new products.

Household Tasks

Fold some laundry. Offer to run to the store for more diapers. Do the dishes. Take out the garbage. Don’t ask. Just do it. Simple household tasks become so exhausting when you have a new baby who keeps you up all night, and having someone else do them for you is such a relief. It’s an easy way to help that has a big impact.

Babysitting

You would be amazed how wonderful it feels to do something simple like grocery shopping by yourself when you have a baby at home. A friend visited me when my son was a month old, and she sat at my house with him while I went to the store for a few things. He was asleep the whole time, so she just sat there and read magazines, but I was so grateful to be able to jump in my car and run an errand without loading up with a metric ton of baby gear. Offer to babysit for your friend, or if you really don’t care for babysitting, offer to hire a sitter through a website like Sittercity, where they screen all the sitters for you. Another option is to offer to watch older kids while she takes care of the baby, or vice versa.

R&R

New moms get very little time to themselves, so help your new mom friend have some fun! Plan an outing she'll enjoy about a month after the baby is born. Just make sure you do it right! Arrange for Dad or a grandparent to be with the baby during the time you want to take her out. Then, offer to watch the baby so she can shower and get dressed up. Go out to a movie and/or dinner. You can save money on the movie by finding movie theater coupons. Another fun option would be to plan a spa day. Try SpaFinder coupons to get some ideas about where to find affordable spa services. Get a manicure and pedicure, or treat her to a massage. Looking down while breastfeeding, lifting baby in and out of the crib, and carrying a baby around all day can be hard on the neck and back, so her sore muscles might appreciate a little TLC.