After discovering that a salad at his company cafeteria would cost about $8, my husband asked me to buy ingredients so he could bring a salad from home. 
His idea of a healthy salad and mine, however, are two wildly different things.
First of all, he wanted a ten-cup Tupperware container to hold it. That was the first red flag. Ten cups is practically an entire head of lettuce!
Then he asked me to make sure I got some cucumbers and cherry tomatoes. No problem there--once I made sure that grape tomatoes were an acceptable substitute. For some reason those are a lot easier to find.
But then we got into the issue of toppings, and that's when things got complicated. He wrote "oil and vinegar" on the list. In the interest of keeping things simple at work, I bought him a bottle of red-wine vinaigrette dressing. As Julia Roberts commented in Pretty Woman, "Big mistake. HUGE!" He wanted a bottle of oil and a bottle of vinegar so he could mix his own. Beyond that, he wanted surimi, sunflower seeds, croutons and cheddar cheese. Naturally, the fish is good for you, so I was happy to find that for him. But those seeds, croutons, and the cup of cheddar cheese he wanted on his salad kind of cancel out the purpose of eating salad in the first place.
I guess it still beats a cheeseburger, though.
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