You might think of me as a rather calm, quiet person.

If that's the case, then you've never been in the car with me, especially when I have to go through a drive-thru. There is no greater trigger of Road Rage for me than a drive-through.  Especially the kind of drive-through that promises to get you out of there within 90 seconds of placing your order.

Like that's gonna happen.  Even if I'm the only one in line because it's an off hour like 2 PM, and I'm ordering 3 things from the dollar menu with no custom alterations, and I give the cashier exact change, that 90-second thing never happens.

But it's when I get behind someone in the drive-thru that things can get ugly.  So, if I were in charge of things, I'd make the following Rules of the Drive-Thru:

  • If you're not ready, don't get in line.  Don't go to the bank drive-thru without a deposit slip.  Write your address, phone number and date of birth on your prescription before you leave the doctor's parking lot, so you'll be ready at the pharmacy.
  • If you don't have the money, don't place the order.
  • If it's complicated, take it inside.  That goes for the bank, fast food, and the pharmacy.  I don't want to sit behind you while you place a custom order.  I don't care if you can have it your way.  Having it your way takes longer.  Don't make me wait because you don't like onions on your burger.
  • Smaller is faster.  If you're ordering in bulk, go inside.
  • Know your menu--and know what you want.  Don't ask your entire carload of tee-ball players to give their custom orders after you get to that drive-thru ordering screen.
  • Hang up and order.  It's not fair to make a line of cars--and the employee of the restaurant, bank or pharmacy, wait while you continue your important call.
  • Don't gossip with the workers.  It's not their break time.  If your friend works there, visit them off the clock.
  • Don't complain about a problem from your last visit.  I waited through three classic-rock songs last week while a woman ranted to the drive-thru employee about some problem that had happened the last time she'd been to that particular fast-food joint.  Go inside and ask for the manager.

The drive-thru would be so much more efficient if everyone followed a list of rules such as these.  And people like me wouldn't be so inclined to tailgate in line or just push the cars in front of us right on through.  Please help me cure my drive-thru rage!

COUPON TIME

10% off an order of $100 or more at Auto Parts 123
Use coupon code NMAM10.
Valid through: May 31, 2010
See other Auto Parts 123 coupons!

$25 off orders over $499 at Parts Train
Use this link or coupon code 25PT.
Valid through: Unknown
See other Parts Train coupon codes!