I'm with the Grinch

So much of Dr. Seuss's book How the Grinch Stole Christmas rings true with me. One section that I can really relate to is the part in the beginning when it says: grinch

"...girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!"

Let me go on record as saying that I hate noisy toys of all kinds! And I know I'm not alone in this, because one time when I gave my nephew (then a toddler) a talking toy camera, my sister called me and asked what she had done to me to deserve that.

The joke in my household is that if you give my children a noisy toy, I will retaliate at the next gift-giving opportunity with a trumpet or drum set. If you are a grandparent and you give my child a noisy toy, I will make sure to leave it at your house so that the child can only play with it there.

Don't think I'm kidding about that, either.

Even worse than noisy toys are noisy books. Books are not supposed to make noise. They are not supposed to play music. Books are quiet entertainment, unless they are read aloud. Our school library, where I volunteer, has this horrible dinosaur picture book that makes a roaring noise when you get to the last page. I have secretly dreamed of performing a battery-ectomy on that book, but I've noticed that it's starting to wind down on it own, so maybe I'll just turn up my mp3 player real loud, and open and shut that book so many times that the battery is finally finished off. The first-graders fight over which child will be allowed to take home that book each week. Mine has had his turn with it, and tortured me with it for a full week, so I will no longer let him check that book out. Some other child with a more patient mother can have a turn with it.

COUPON TIME

If there is still toy shopping to be done, please consider purchasing a quiet toy this year. Everyone with ears will thank you, and so will the Grinch.

Free Shipping on orders over $120 at FAO Schwarz
Use promotion code SHIPSALE8.
Valid through: December 31, 2008
Cannot be combined with any other coupon. Online only.

$5 off an order of $40 or more at KBtoys.com
Valid online only! In your shopping cart, click on the "Apply Coupon or Certificate" button and enter code ETNLTR. Valid through: Unknown

$10 off a purchase of $50 or more of select Fisher-Price products at Toys R Us
Use the link above to view eligible items. No coupon needed. Valid through: December 20, 2008

Up to 50% off Dozens of Popular Family Games at Toys R Us
Use the link above to view eligible games. Discount is automatic. No coupon needed. Valid through: December 20, 2008 11:59pm ET

15% off online orders over $75 at Back to Basics Toys
At the bottom of your shopping cart enter promotion code DEAL15.
Valid through: December 17, 2008 11:59pm ET
Valid online only. Discount only applies to orders shipped within the US.

Free shipping on orders of $65 or more at HearthSong.com
During checkout enter Promotion Code Number HSN.
Normal Shipping costs range from $5.99 to $19.99.
Valid through: December 18, 2008