T-Rex Hot WheelsI  want to talk about matchboxes today. No, this isn't an anti-smoking rant (though, come on, don't you think it's time you quit already?) I don't mean those kind of matches. I'm talking about Matchbox cars. Or Hot Wheels. To me they were always the same. Different packaging, but same kind of toy. Cool little die-cast cars.

I have really fond memories of this one Matchbox racing set I had as a kid. The tracks were mostly blue, with white and red stripes in the middle. And you used these clear plastic pieces to slide underneath them and connect them together. But this one set I had was a raceway, where you'd basically create a big oval. One end was two hard pieces of plastic (that never seemed to fit together nicely), and the other end was the starting line, which was made of a huge motor-like thing. You pull down a handle and it basically pulls back a lever. Let go of the handle, it gives a whirl and a roar, then lets loose and smacks into your little car, sending it flying at insane speeds down the track. It could usually make it once or twice around before you'd have to rev it up again. With lots of practice, you could pull it as the car's passing, so it'd never stop at all.

I used to also take tons of tracks and just make a really really really long track that'd run down our stairs (we lived in a high ranch house with a split staircase by the front door). then just let the cars free-fall down. I'd say I probably had about an 18% success rate of cars actually staying on the track until the very end.

Nowadays, though, I walk through the car aisles at the local Toys R Us or Target and just shake my head. There's no longer "just" a race track. Uh uh. You need the track to be surrounding a giant killer shark or octopus. Or a three-headed dragon that snaps it's head and tries to snatch your car as it races by. I even got one of those huge T-rex race sets for my older son. After spending 2 hours (literally) putting this thing together, it kind of worked. You shoot cars up the track and they get stuck in the dinosaur's mouth until you pull a switch and a car does a jump and smashes the T-rex's mouth open, freeing your cars and giving a loud roar. Fun for 5 minutes, if you don't count the sheer terror it put in my 3 year old, not to mention the fact I was almost smacked in the head about 5 times by flying metal cars.

So yeah, I now understand when my folks talk about the "good ol days" when they didn't have any newfangled toys. Just a stick and a ball and maybe a rock. Because while all these innovations are fun and neat and pretty and all... you sometimes can't beat the sheer simplicity of a basic toy. Like a simple 5-foot track running down your stairs into the inevitable pit of doom...

COUPON TIME:

What, you think I'm gonna post coupons about toys or smoking? Shows how much you know about me. Nope, instead I'm going big and offering up coupons for real cars.

$10 off online orders over $350 at Auto Parts Warehouse
Use this link and coupon code 10APWOFF.

$15 off an order of $300+ of auto accessories at AutoAnything
Use coupon code SAVE15.
Valid through: September 30, 2008
Offer cannot be combined with any other offers. Due to manufacturer restrictions, offer excludes AEM, AFE, Access, Airaid, B&M, BAK, Banks, BedRug, Beltronics, Borla Exhaust, Brembo Rotors, Bully Dog, Corsa, Covercraft, Diablosport, Edge, Escort, Extang, Hypertech, K&N, MileMarker, Power Slot, Ramsey, Roll-N-Lock, S&B, SCT, Skyjacker, SnowSport Snow Plow, Superchips, Superlift, Thule, Truxedo, Undercover, Warn, Weathertech, Yakima, and Zymol products.

$10 off orders over $100 at Parts Train
Use coupon code PTF10.

Free shipping on orders over $75 at Stylin Trucks
Use coupon code STYLIN20.
Valid online only. Standard ground shipping only. Items shipped truck freight or via expedited shipping will be discounted by amount of normal ground shipping. Extra charge for oversize items. Must be shipped within the continental United States. Cannot be combined with other coupons.

Dunlop: $50 Rebate or iPod shuffle  at Tire Rack
When you buy a set of four (4) Dunlop SP Sport, Direzza, Grandtrek or Rover A/T tires you may be eligible to receive your choice of either an iPod shuffle or a $50 mail-in rebate. When you buy a set of four (4) Dunlop Signature, SP 60, Radial Rover RVXT or Radial Mud Rover tires you may be eligible to receive a $50 mail-in rebate. Valid on tires purchased from in-stock inventory between August 23, 2008 12:00am ET through September 20, 2008 11:59pm ET.