OystersI'm pretty open when it comes to trying new foods. I love sushi (and not just those measly California Rolls, but things like eel, scallops, surf clam, you name it), was surprised at how good an ostrich burger is, and even spent a few years doing that vegetarian thing so tofu isn't like poison to me. Granted, there are some things I probably just couldn't bring myself to eat like monkey brains or cow blood soup. Yeah, that's a little too much for my tastes.

But I thought I'd share with you quite possibly the worst thing I have ever put in my mouth. No, not my foot... It was a few years back when I was heading up a monthly magazine about anime (Japanese animation). We had this one monthly feature that spotlighted some of the crazy toys, food, games, etc. that are currently all the rage over in Japan. So every month we'd either send our fearless intern down to this huge Japanese market in New Jersey, or we'd get our Tokyo correspondent to mail us over some goodies.

One month, one of the items was a vacuum-packed silver package full of... Oyster Jerky. Yes, I said oyster. Think of beef jerky, but with dried up oyster instead. Uh huh. Well the guys and gals in the office didn't even want to open it but I said I'd give it a try. (Gotta take one for the team, right?) And I asked if anyone else was fearless enough to join me. Only 1 guy in the whole building came to my side, my big buddy Mel.

So we opened the packet... and ooof... the smell alone was enough to knock out a puppy or a small child. Other than that, it looked and felt just like beef jerky. A little grayer and a little skinnier maybe. So we each took a bite and... I think my gag reflex went into super turbo overdrive. I practically spit that thing clear across the room. Thankfully it made it into the garbage. Mel ran like a 6-year-old girl to the warehouse and proceeded to hack and spit out his piece into one of the big garbage cans back there. It took a few hours and several bottles of water to get that horrid horrid taste out of our mouths. I can't even describe how awful it was. So I won't.

Now what have I learned from this brutal assault on my tastebuds? Not much, except that in the future, I'll be sure to let Mel try any new food first.

COUPON TIME:

I'm fresh out of coupons for Oyster Jerky (aren't you lucky?), so I'll go in the other direction and find a couple of healthy alternatives.

$10 off online orders over $50 at Gaiam.com
Enter Catalog Key Code/Web Code AP2P during checkout.
Valid through: January 31, 2008 11:59pm MT
Online purchases only. Does not apply to previous purchases. May not be combined with any other offer.

15% off online orders at Gaiam.com
Enter Catalog Key Code/Web Code CB11 during checkout.
If the coupon worked, you'll see the discount at Step 4 of checkout. If you don't see a discount, the coupon probably expired.
Online purchases only. Does not apply to previous purchases. May not be combined with any other offer.

10% off AND Free Shipping on orders over $75 at GNC.com
Online only. Use this link to activate the coupon.
If necessary, enter promotion code FREE75 in your shopping cart.
Valid through: February 29, 2008 11:59pm ET
One time use only. Minimum purchase amount is before GNC Gold Card discount is applied. Not valid on previous purchases, exchanges, special orders or Gift Cards. Not valid with any other offer except GNC Gold Card discount, including purchase or renewal of a GNC Gold Card. 20% GNC Gold Card discount is applied after coupon deduction. Discount does not apply to the purchase of a GNC Gift Card. Not valid on purchases of alli. Select fitness equipment and everday low price items cannot be combined with any discounts including the GNC Gold Card discount. GNC Products that are Buy One Get One 50% off or Buy One Get One Free cannot be combined with any discount except the GNC Gold Card discount. Free shipping offer applies to ground shipping within the continental United States only. Offer does not apply when shipping to P.O. boxes. Surcharge will be applied on oversized items at a rate of $1.50 per each 5 lb. of additional weight.