Village PeopleSwimming lessons have scarred me for life. Not that I'm afraid of water or of swimming. Not at all. I'm a decent swimmer, enjoy riding the waves at the beach, and will even jump off the crazy high diving board at our local town pool. No, it's not the act of swimming that put the fear of Neptune into me... it was the learning.

I must've been 7 or 8 I'd guess. Maybe a little younger. Anyways, my mom decided it was time for me to learn how to swim, so she enrolled me in classes at the local YMCA, along with my neighborhood friend Eddie. As luck would have it, my other friend Damon happened to be in the class too. Woo! Now the lessons themselves were standard lessons and I guess they worked, because I learned how to swim. And it wasn't the teacher or the water or anyone in the class that frightened me. It was that one day...

After class one day Eddie, Damon and I went to the boy's locker room to change out of our bathing suits, and we'd run around, play hide and seek, the usual things kids do together. Well at some point, I got the brilliant idea to hide in one of the lockers. They weren't full giant size lockers, but big enough for a small kid to fit in. So I got in, closed the door and hid quietly waiting. (I'm damn good at finding the perfect hiding spots, if I do say so myself.) Unfortunately, I was too good in this case. They couldn't find me and I eventually burst the door open to surprise them... except... well, the door didn't open. It was stuck. My friends were laughing and telling me to get out, and then they quickly realized I couldn't. So they started to panic and frantically tried to open it but couldn't. I don't remember much else, except lots of tears, screams and Eddie running out to get my mom, who had to come into the Men's locker room to get me out. Which she eventually did. Awesome.

COUPON TIME:

Let's see. Locker coupons? Nope. Village People CD sale? Not a chance. Ah, I've got it! Avoid going to the Y and getting yourself trapped in a locker... instead, get yourself a home gym and use one of these super spiffy Bowflex coupons:

$300 off a Bowflex Ultimate or Bowflex Xtreme Home Gym
Use promo code AW47SAVE3.
Valid through: November 1, 2007 11:59pm PT
Excludes the Xtreme XTLU and Bowflex Revolution Home Gym. Cannot be combined with other offers and excludes previously placed orders. Offer not valid at retail stores or outlets.

$300 off any Bowflex TreadClimber cardio machine
Use promo code AT47SAVE3.
Valid through: November 1, 2007 11:59pm PT
Cannot be combined with other offers and excludes previously placed orders. Offer not valid at retail stores or outlets.

$500 off & Free Shipping on a Bowflex Xtreme XTLU home gym
Now only $799! Use promotional code XTREMEDEAL7.
Valid through: November 1, 2007 11:59pm PT
Cannot be combined with other offers and excludes previously placed orders. Offer not valid at retail stores or outlets. Free shipping available for orders within the continental U.S. only.